(Stranger) than ever

Suddenly wish I were sad/depressed right now. All the smiley faces make me feel like I'm growing.. down (not up). Not feeling enough won't make you think as much either.

All my thinking doesn't go beyond analysis of the outside world, what happened to myself? I'm slowly coping with things. I like it in a way for it is more organized and less heartbreaking, but am I losing myself?

--

Am I? I gave myself this chance to be myself, and today I realised it's not only because I let myself be. I thought about it and.. it wouldn't have been the same if it were somebody less straightforward. It saves me the agony of wondering what the other party is thinking (of me/the situation)

Amazingly, I discovered that straightforward part of myself too. I break down words/actions/feelings into sense and reason but I can still be simple with my words. And the thoughts I want to convey.

And I am really amazed that I appear to have confidence when I let myself be myself. If you think about it, that is what confidence really is. Nothing else. And I'm glad. But I have to remind myself to not get lost in it, because I cannot and will not allow myself to. Stay a stranger in my eyes and I will remind myself every day.

--

Through the frustration between myself and others as I try to think from everybody's perspective which actually ruins the communication, I learnt I should first say what I want before trying to make things work. And not to keep it in till I burst all of a sudden.



Kina Graniss - Valentine

Not in a Valentine's mood, but an acquaintance posted this on facebook and I thought it was a really nice song melody-wise. I still can't appreciate simple and romantic lovey-dovey lyrics yet.